


can you read my poker face?

by csiwholocked33



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, Friends to Lovers, Matchmaking, Mattex, Morning Sex, Shower Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-25 16:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/640615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csiwholocked33/pseuds/csiwholocked33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Strip Poker,” Kaz said simply.<br/>Alex gulped. Matt choked quietly on his mouthful of gin and tonic. Arthur lost it immediately and very obviously, loudly spluttering and going wide-eyed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clare009](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clare009/gifts).



> TWO LITTLE THINGS:  
> 1\. So I randomly on a whim decided to at least formally "gift" this fic to clare009, who I've never really talked to, but I've just kindof been admiring and kudos-ing all her lovely Mattex smut fics from afar. So yeah, I hope you enjoy this lovely :D ♥  
> 2\. I feel like this is the cheesiest little title ever, but all the while I was writing it the best other option I came up with was something completely irrelevant to the effect of "Loose Lips Might Sail Ships," as in some kind of convoluted pun about the fact that Mattex is my ship, and just... so yeah, the title might be rubbish, but I'm fairly happy with the piece itself. Enjoy ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter: 1,509 words, split into 2 little segments

It had been an exceptionally long week, and the famous four members of Team Tardis were crashed out in Karen’s flat to celebrate a job well done. A bottle of vodka and just a few hours after arriving, the conversation had devolved—as it often did—into pre-teen sleepover fodder, which usually included “never ever have I ever,” “truth or dare,” and the like. Their games were the furthest thing from childish though; every round seemed to turn into a “who’s kinkier than who” contest, especially on the select occasions they were able to convince The Kingston to drink with them.

Tonight, like so many nights before, they’d all four drunk themselves to the point of giddiness. Karen and Alex were both clearly tipsy, but unbeknownst to the boys had poured themselves a few secret virgin drinks. In Alex’s case, this was in an effort to not let the smooth-talking voice of whiskey embolden her into divulging the sort of ridiculously personal—and almost always sex-related—things she so often let slip whilst being interviewed on late night talk shows. After Matt had made a little mocking comment to her about it a few weeks earlier, she’d made a conscious effort to curtail her usual forthrightness, at least in settings where she was likely to be quoted, but even Alex’s best efforts at demureness came off as blatantly sensual. It was just the way she was, and had always been.

Karen, meanwhile, had been saving quite the special sleepover game for this particular get-together, knowing Alex had promised to attend. She’d decided that it was finally time to get her ridiculously oblivious pair of friends into each others’ pants. Matt and Alex’s flirting had become so intense that any unknowing onlooker would assume them to be either shagging, madly in love, or both, and after yet another day on set when the sexual frustration passing between the pair was literally tangible, Kaz was through with subtle hinting.

“S’what’ll it be tonight Kaz, truth or dare? BS, with a shot for every lie?” Arthur listed towards her from his place on her overstuffed armchair, and she gave him a look, inhaling his alcohol-soaked breath with a grimace.

“Actually, I’d something a bit more _interesting_ in mind for us tonight,” she said, and couldn’t resist grinning slyly at her brilliantly laid plan.

“And what might that be, moon-face?” She swatted Matt’s knee at that. He was seated on the peach-hued suede couch just behind her, and Alex was perched on the sofa’s other end. _Playing right into my little game, the poor saps,_ Karen thought with glee. Drawing in a breath, she closed her eyes a moment, preparing to speak.

“Strip Poker,” she said simply.

Alex gulped. Matt choked quietly on his mouthful of gin and tonic. Arthur lost it immediately and very obviously, loudly spluttering and going wide-eyed.

“You’ve _got_ to be kiddin’, Kazza,” he whispered hesitantly after regaining some semblance of a calm expression. He continued, leaning a bit closer to her as if under some delusion the others couldn’t hear him. “I don’ nessessesscarily think thas’ the best idea, with this crowd anywho…” He jerked a thumb awkwardly towards the duo in question, who just stared blankly at them.

“No, I’m perfectly serious, Darvill. Cards are all ready—just there in that drawer down by you, Alex—and I know for a fact you all play,” she stated dryly, and shoved her completely hammered dear friend back onto the chair.

Blinking a few times, Karen saw Alex take in a sharp breath before seeming to resign herself to the knowledge that she would not be argued with on this particular subject, and she leaned over slowly to pull open the drawer of the side table.

“Well surely you’ve got an opinion on this, Matthew?” Karen teased, genuinely a bit surprised by his silence heretofore.

Matt answered by letting a cheesy smirk spread across his face, turning to wink dramatically at Alex and then shifting back around to stare expectantly at the cards now shuffling over one another between Karen’s practiced hands. Alex rolled her eyes, the cards were dealt, and Arthur stepped out to grab them yet another bottle of booze.

~~~

“Ha! Alex, that’s it! Lose the top!” Matt cheered unabashedly, clearly quite pleased with himself for bluffing his gorgeous costar out of yet another article of clothing. She’d already done the ubiquitous but quite frustrating routine of counting each earring and sock as one piece, but now that her heeled boots, jewelry and sweater were piled on the floor beside her, it seemed Alex really didn’t have much of a choice but to pull off her tissue-thin camisole.

Much to his dismay though, Alex waggled her finger at him teasingly, clearly proud with herself for having witted her way out of stripping down to her bra just yet. Before he could get out more than an unintelligible whimper of protest though, his breathing stopped abruptly at the sight of her pulling up her cotton shirt and revealing a few inches of gloriously smooth stomach. He watched, enamored, as Alex extracted from her belly button the tiny silver ring he’d spent so long aching to see. She tossed it carelessly to the carpet and her top fell back down to cover her torso. Matt’s eyes, of course, were glued to the centimeter of impossibly perfect skin still visible between her hem and her jeans.

Shivering lightly and forcing himself to turn his eyes from her barely-contained curves, he noted a rather idiotic smile flick over Karen’s face. The moment she caught his eye she glanced back down innocently at her cards. _Women truly are such strange birds,_ he thought.

Matt and Arthur, with considerably fewer adornments to remove than their female counterparts, had long since lost their tee shirts and most else they’d showed up wearing, and poor Darvill was down to his boxers and looking quite cross over the rim of his whiskey glass. Karen had managed to stay almost completely untouched, with only a few gold rings and one shoe and sock removed so far.

When it came Arthur’s turn to bid again, he seemed past any delusion that his always poor poker face would make a successful appearance, and he just glared angrily at the glass tabletop where the rest of his garments were heaped. Suddenly, with surprising speed for someone so smashed, he leapt from his chair, wheeled around it and sprinted down the hall towards the loo, wailing on about how he “hated this stupid bloody game and all of them” and was “just going to go take damned a piss before losing his dignity completely.” Karen guffawed before getting up to follow him down the hallway.

“You’d better not be getting’ sick in my restroom, Darvill! I fold guys, I think I heard my cell but I’ll be back in a bit!”

Before they could object she was off, a flash of auburn tresses and pale pink cotton. An odd silence settled between the two remaining players, until Alex found herself speaking again entirely without her own conscious permission.

“Care to play a hand of our own, darling?” she drawled lowly, smiling smugly at Matt. Alex wasn’t sure what she expected, but his answering blank stare and barely audible uttering of “God yes” wasn’t it.

She grabbed another of the decks from the table and dealt them each their hand, and when she turned her face up once more, she knew instantly from the boyish ecstasy lighting Matt’s chiseled features that she’d lost this one. They flipped their cards and his perfect royal flush to her meager one pair confirmed her suspicions.

Deciding that any resolution she’d made to be less promiscuous with her co-workers could begin in the morning, Alex stood dramatically from the couch with a wicked smirk and shrugged off her camisole.

Before she could so much as exhale, Matt’s hands were on her. He’d slipped between her and the table to grip her by the waist, and stared down at her with glazed charcoal eyes.

He brushed tender fingertips in a few lazy circles on her back, eyes glued to her fabulous cleavage. When he met her gaze again and pointedly cocked an eyebrow, Alex answered “yes” the best way she knew how: crushing his lips under her own. She marveled at the softness of his mouth, running a deft tongue along his stunned smile. He pulled her tighter to him, so that her bare flesh met his, and the velvet warmth of the contact overwhelmed his every sense.

“Alexxxxx.”

“Yes, my darling…?”

“Would you…can I…t-take you, right here, right now?” He growled out the words.

She felt a shiver run up her spine. Alex sighed deeply into his firm pectoral muscle, where her lips now rested as he fisted one hand in her hair and the other caressed lazily up her back.

“Yes please, Matt,” she mumbled, and he exhaled loudly and quickly slid his hand up to unclip her bra. “I thought you’d never ask.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter: 1,394 words, split into 3 little segments

Karen sat on the cold tile floor of bathroom and did her best to soothe a now sobbing Arthur. Suddenly, she heard a few loud thumping sounds, followed by an exchange of rushed whispers, and finally a louder statement confirming the occurrence what she’d been listening so carefully for.

“Yes please, Matt… I thought you’d never ask,” purred a tipsy Alex from the living room. _Her_ living room. Dammit, now those two horny idiots were going to have a shag—and a bloody good one, she gathered, based on the shockingly erotic sounds spilling through the wall—on _her_ couch. Karen grimaced at how little she’d thought through the end segment of her brilliant plan. She returned her attention to Arthur, who was slumped pathetically over the toilet bowl beside her.

“Wh-wha was that?” he hiccupped out, raising his head in confusion.

“That, Darvill… that is the sound of our dearest idiot costars finally getting it on,” Karen answered quietly.

“Oh! Well thas jus wonnerful, isn’t it?” Arthur slurred, a dumb grin filling his face just before he bent weakly over the toilet and heaved.

“Well yes, at least someone here’s having a good night.” Karen chuckled dryly at the comical state of affairs in her flat, then sighed and put her head in her hands as Arthur continued to alternate between quietly retching and grumpily groaning in self pity.

~~~

“Christ above, Alex, ah-” Matt was cut off by his own grunt. Alex just snickered at him before pulling at his hip just enough that he got the idea and toppled over on top of her. He straddled her eagerly on the couch, whipping her now unclasped lace bralette to the floor and sitting back for moment, just admiring her fabulous tits. _They were perfect, they were legendary, they were every British teenager’s wet dream, they were—_

“Matt, darling, that’s quite flattering, but fuck, just _touch_ me,” drawled a squirming Alex from beneath him, and he realized he’d been speaking aloud. Grinning at the picture she made beneath him, half naked and lightly perspiring, he dropped a hand to gently circle and pinch at her nipple. Alex arched beautifully into his touch, inadvertently pushing her hips up to brush his trouser front, and they both let out little moans. He bent down to take one of her pert honey-coloured nipples into his mouth, suckling it roughly as his hand continued to tease the other one.

When she simply couldn’t handle it anymore, she grabbed one of his hands. Dragging it down between their bodies, she made sure to place those wonderfully long fingers of his just over the place where her jeans were growing slightly damp with her arousal. “Mmmf!” he interjected into her left breast, where his lips seemed to be stuck. Matt’s cock twitched at the feel of her on his fingertips, and he froze momentarily. When he did regain the ability to move, he was quick to crawl down Alex’s jean-clad legs, position his mouth over her crotch and reach up to finger her zipper. The little squirm she gave at his pinky accidentally brushing up her inner thigh as he did so was the only prompting he needed.

Once Alex’s denims were peeled off and tossed aside, she helped him out of his own trousers and boxers, and he immediately straddled her again. In his slightly drunken state, he didn’t realize her lack of panties until his freed cock slid over the patch of wet coils of hair between her spread thighs and she gasped.

“No knickers, Kingston? Naughty, naughty!”

“Only if you want me to be, darling.” She winked at him before stretching a lithe little hand up to wander up the middle of his chest. Then Alex began whispering things to him that certainly were quite naughty, all the while her hand creeping further and further down towards where he needed her most. He quivered at her touch, and almost gave in and fucked her right then. But when he remembered that it was _Alex Bloody Kingston_ that he was lying naked on top of, he suddenly had more than enough will power to take control. He was determined to prove to her that his age did not equate to inexperience in the bedroom, but even more than that he was adamant that tonight be the night he would realize his long-enduring fantasy of eating her out and watching her gorgeous face twist in contentment as she came for him.

Matt grabbed her by the hands, pushing her arms straight over her head. In a sudden stroke of brilliance, he saw the elastic hair tie ringing her arm, and, with a delicious little snap, used it to bind her wrists together. When he glanced back down at her, he was surprised to find her eyes dark and her expression one of absolutely ravenous lust.

“Oh, we like that, don’t we? Being tied up? Maybe I’ll have to steal some of River’s handcuffs from wardrobe next week then…”

She whinged and ground her hips hungrily up to meet his, never breaking eye contract, as a way of confirming his assumption. “You, me, handcuffs…” she muttered, brushing her lips against his shoulder.

“It should _always_ end this way,” he finished, smirking at her before moving down her body to press open-mouthed kisses to the patch of hair on her pelvis. Alex practically wailed as he kissed her between and around her hip bones, so he teased her a minute longer with lavish strokes of tongue and teeth on her sensitive lower stomach. She bit back a curse.

Finally he wiggled his pointer finger gently into her slick folds, quickly finding her clit and pressing down. Every moan and shriek taught him the precise locations of her most sensitive of places, and he mapped her, pleasured her, and worshipped her with a wide smile on his face.

~~~

Karen and Arthur were sprawled out on Karen’s floral print bottom sheet, having piled every possible moveable piece of furniture as well as all of her pillows and bedding up against the door to her room. Despite their brilliantly designed, if not a bit over-done sound cushioning system, the moans and keening noises from their two dear friends penetrated through the flat’s thin walls and reached their ears all the same. They’d long since stopped trying to muffle it out, after a few different attempts at everything from earmuffs to scarves to lying curled up uncomfortably underneath the bed had all failed to make the sounds of Matt and Alex shagging any less noticeable. Arthur scowled at the ceiling and Kaz played around on her phone.

“We might as well just resign ourselves to our situation then, mate,” she said after a bit, tossing her iPhone to the carpet with a sigh.

“And just whattas that mean, Kazza?”

“They’re not going to be finished any time soon. We’re stuck in here, maybe til morning.”

“Arrgggghhhhh! Why’s it always me? Bloody hell Kaz, s’always me and I’m always getting killed, or Rory is anyway, but whas the difference? I never get the damned girl, and I’m dead eery other episode, so whas the point anymore?”

“Darvill, Darvill, calm yourself! We have a bed, we have a bathroom, we have whatever minimal rations of snacks I’ve stashed in the drawer over there in my nightstand… and besides, I have something else I think you’ll quite enjoy.”

“And jus what might that be?” he snarled.

“Mary Poppins—the brand new, unreleased, remastered edition—on DVD!”

Arthur’s face lit up at that for a second before he recalled his pouting and covered his glee with a half-hearted frown. “And just why would I enjoy that s’much, moon face?”

“Darvill, it’s absolutely no secret on set that you _adore_ Marry Poppins. Don’t be ashamed, I think it’s rather adorable!” she bit back a chuckle and did her best to smile at him earnestly.

“Aw screw it. Put ‘er in,” he mumbled, gesturing loosely in the direction of her television. He withdrew a couple pillows and two fleece blankets from their useless door barricade and slumped back onto his back on the bed. Just as the film’s home menu flashed onto the screen, a particularly high-pitched whine floated in from the other room. Karen turned up the telly’s volume and clicked play with a cringe on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter: 1,333 words, just 1 segment

Alex was feeling remarkably close to heaven now, and he’d only had a pair of fingers inside her for a matter of minutes. When he leant down and licked wetly and generously up and around her clit a few times, she melted to a pool of sweet satisfaction underneath him. “Oh, Matt!”

Her face as she climaxed was even more than he’d imagined. It was a beautifully contorted mix of ecstasy and pain, and a stunned smile hung from Matt’s chiseled cheekbones as he watched her whine and writhe, riding out the quite lengthy orgasm and making the most insanely dirty, magnificently loud noises he’d ever heard.

“Oooh, we are quite the _screamer,_ ” he chuckled softly, drawing his slender fingers out of her and dragging them up her hipbones. He brought his hand next to his mouth, and she let her eyes fall open and watched as he sucked her juices from his middle finger. When Matt moved to place the other damp fingertip between his lips, Alex reached out and gripped his wrist, stopping him. He let her take control, and she brought his hand to her own lips, licking the cum from his index finger slowly. _God, she was just so sodding sexy! It’s a wonder she’s stayed single this long, honestly,_ he thought.

“You have no idea what you do to me.” Matt had stuttered the words aloud almost before he’d thought them.

“Well now I’d say you have a pretty damned good idea what you do to me, darling,” she whispered, sitting up and clutching at the soft, sparse hair of his chest. Her face glowed just a bit more than usual, radiant with pleasure and satisfaction. Matt never understood how Alex managed to constantly, simultaneously appear both filthily suggestive and heart-breakingly adorable. _Must be the magic hair,_ his clouded mind decided.

Alex reached down to palm his stiff length, and if his thoughts had been partly cloudy before, now they were a hail storm. She tickled and rubbed at him and his eyes fluttered shut, but she stopped them moment they did.

“I want you to look me in the eye, sweetheart. I…I want to see how much you want me,” she said smoothly, “…even if it’s hard.” He swallowed, his cock feeling significantly warmer at the thought. “No, especially if it’s hard,” she finished, and he groaned, putty in her capable hands.

She easily flipped them over. When she closed her lips over the tip of his hard-on, he swallowed a sob and did his best to keep his eyes open and fixed on hers. She enveloped him in her warm mouth, swirling her tongue around him.

Despite the alcohol in his system, after no more than a minute he felt sure he would come in her throat if she didn’t stop. “Alex, ahh… Alex!”

“What is it, handsome? A little too much for you?” She beamed up at him, lifting an eyebrow. Her fingers were still ghosting over his balls and he fought the urge to scream at her.

“Y-yes,” he stuttered. “Please, I just… I want to be inside you, ‘Lex. More than anything.” Just as he was beginning to worry he’d overstepped some unspoken boundary of their frenzied little encounter, she crawled up him and put her full lips to his ear. They brushed his neck and earlobe as she whispered.

“Alright, you win—for now. Of course I’d love to torture you a bit longer, darling, but when you’re lying there begging so adorably…” He smiled, triumphant. Alex pulled back to line their torsos up again, and he took her lovely face in his large hands.

“My dearest beautiful, brilliant, bloody sexy-as-all-hell Alex; _please?_ ”Matt let his lip quiver pitifully, stroking her cheek with a slim finger.

“God, yes,” she answered. She was millimetres from him, ready to cover him in her delicious heat, when he snapped back into reality and froze.

“’Lex, Alex baby… do we… don’t we need…?”

“Dear, you know how much it took for me to have Salome. And as far as anything else goes… well, I trust you.”

Smiling like he’d just won the lotto, Matt gave her perfect mouth a light peck, and then took her by the hips and slid inside.

She felt better than he’d ever imagined; silky and tight and glorious. He decided that the feeling of her body pressed against his, all soft curves of angelic skin, was unequivocally his favorite sensation of all time, and savored the simultaneous rush of blood to his groin and tenderness to his heart as they lay there together, still.

Soon Alex began to squirm over him, and he took his queue perfectly. Matt started smooth and gentle, gradually working his way up to more insistent thrusts as her hips began undulating wantonly. He glanced up and caught a glimpse of her astonishing face. Breathtaking as she always was, be it on set, in a magazine or on his couch, he’d never seen her look more beautifully _Alex_ than she did just then.

“Mmmm! Mmmmhhh…” Alex curled up against him so that her moans and hums fell right into his ear, her mouth on his neck. Every few moments after a particularly intense thrust, she nipped at his skin with a sensuous whine.

Matt could tell that she was quite close now, still delicate from her first orgasm. Winding an arm between them, he caressed her stomach a few times and then sought out her clit. Once he had found it and began to rub the tiny bud full of nerve endings in time with his thrusts, it only took a matter of seconds more for her to shatter.

“Matt! God, oh God, oh fuck…!” _Yes, Alex Kingston is just as much of a screamer as River Song,_ he thought, and that was the last coherent thing in his head as he followed her into paradise. They rode out the waves of her muscle spasms together, he expending himself into her and she rolling her hips fervently to prolong it.

Once they could both breathe properly again, Matt spoke quietly into the silence. “God Kingston, you’ve no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.”

She chuckled, pleased by his frank omission. “I… me too, if you’d believe it, love,” she answered softly, and planted a chaste little kiss to the palm of his hand. He grinned.

After a brief moment his face waxed contemplative once more. “For how long, Alex?”

She considered for a moment. When she did answer, it was in a soft, endearing little whisper, barely audible, and he could tell that she was afraid to be so vulnerable. “For always.”

And the smile that gleamed onto his face at her simple words told her this wouldn’t be the last time they’d be doing this. Alex let a tear slip from her luminescent green eye, and he surprised her by gathering her body in his arms in a tight hug.

They lingered there for a few minutes, just relishing the closeness, calming their breathing as Matt stroked her upper back gently.

After they’d been cuddling for quite long while, around 3am he felt her nodding off against his shoulder. He rubbed circles on her back, rousing her lovingly, and helped her to her feet. Matt found a few blankets in a basket behind the couch, and laid a large one down on the carpet. Alex quickly fell to it and snuggled into the fleecey material, patting the space beside her and looking up at him with the cutest sleepy doe-eyed expression. He happily stretched himself out beside her, pulling another pair of blankets up over their nakedness. When she reached out to wrap her arm over his chest and settled her head down atop his breastbone, he pulled her in tightly and kissed sweetly at her forehead.

“Goodnight, Matty,” she whispered.

“Goodnight, my beautiful Alex.” And the couple drifted into a deep, blissful slumber, there on the floor of Karen Gillan’s sitting room. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Kazza follow their dear co-stars into the land of more-than-friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter: 1,175 words, split into 3 sections

The beams of an oddly bright but drizzly Cardiff morning filtered through Karen’s shades, into the room of pastel linens and vivid arrays of piled up clothing and accessories and over the sleeping forms of the two individuals lying side by side in the bed within. When the sunlight shifted just enough to slip over the shut eyelids of one Arthur Darvill, he startled awake with a groan and threw his lanky arms over his face in protest of the morning.

He mumbled something unintelligible and rubbed his temples a few times before trying to open his eyes once more. When he did, he only saw the stupidly cheery light of morning, his own body sprawled atop the covers and still clothed in his jeans and tee, and Karen lying sound asleep beside him. He blinked his eyes closed again. _Wait, what?!?!?!?! Why the hell am I in bed with Kazza??? Oh dear God, what did I do last night… shit my head hurts…! Bloody hell, Arthur, this is why you told yourself you’d stop drinking with those idiots!_

His internal monologue was interrupted by the sudden rustling of sheets beside him.

“Mornin, Darvill,” Karen sighed, stretching her arms. She was wearing _her_ pyjamas, he noticed… so what…?

“Before you bug your eyes out of your head, no, nothing happened between us last night.” Arthur let out a gigantic sigh of relief at that, his shoulders relaxing.

“Hmmf.” Hearing her indignant grunt, he turned back to look at the redhead. “Wha?”

“Well, you don’t haf’ta act as if… as if being… being with _me,_ of _all people,_ would just be positively _sickening…,_ ” she said quietly.

“No, Kaz, tha’s not what I’d meant, Kazza—” By the end of his frenzied apology, she was already across the room and loudly shutting the door to the bathroom from the other side.

“Damnit, Darvill,” he said aloud to himself. It wasn’t as if he’d never thought about it, obviously, what with Amy and Rory and all, and God he wasn’t blind, he knew Karen was gorgeous, but… well… _wait, why didn’t I ever make a go at something more with her again…?_ Arthur scratched his head pensively. He couldn’t think of a single logical reason why not to try for something more with Karen, and he was busy trying to talk himself out of doing just that when the sound of the shower turning on interrupted his silent soliloquy.

Hearing the running water, Arthur’s muddled, hungover mind wandered into imaginings of Karen naked, streams of hot water trickling down over her lean body and soaking her brilliant auburn hair, her perfect pale face, the lovely soft skin of her lower back… _Well, shit,_ he thought. _I guess there’s no time like the present to fuck up one of your dearest friend ships by attempting to slip sex into the equation._ Standing slowly so as not to exacerbate his pounding headache, he ran a hand through his unkempt hair and inhaled deeply. By his next exhalation, he was standing inches from the door of Karen’s bathroom, hand fingering the brass knob.

~~~

 _Fuck!_ “Mmmm…”

Matt’s own satisfied moan woke him. A shiver ran down his spine, and he opened his eyes. Alex Kingston was crouched between his legs, her mouth caressing his hardness and her intense green eyes piercing his. She smirked when she saw him flicker into full consciousness and held his gaze as she continued her ministrations.

“A-Ale…’Lex…?” he barely stuttered out the word between the waves of pleasure that coursed up his length from where her tongue swirled around him.

“Hello, Sweetie, and good morning,” she chuckled before pressing a final wet kiss to his sensitive head and crawling up his body til her lips were level with his.

“It certainly is,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around her perfect waist. “D’you know how long I’ve been wishing for this?”

She laughed. “Oh darling, you can’t possibly think I’d believe that a pretty young man like yourself—a celebrity, no less—has any trouble getting a good shag whenever he’d fancy one!”

“You stupid, beautiful, adorable, blindingly attractive woman,” he sighed, reaching up a hand to cup her face. “I meant _this;_ waking up with _you.”_

The most glorious smile crept across her face. The couple lay there for a few minutes, just gazing into each others’ eyes, with nothing covering them but a blanket and the stripes of soft white light filtering through the window shades. Then she bent to brush a soft, loving kiss to his lovely mouth. The faintly sunny morning warmed their bare skin, and Matt let his hand tangle in Alex’s entrancing golden curls as they shared a series of delicate lip locks.

Eventually he felt all his blood rushing to his groin once more, and it wasn’t long after that before Alex felt his hardness against her stomach. She smirked down at him.

~~~

Arthur cautiously pushed the door open and was hit in the face with a cloud of steamy air. He winced at the noisy creaking of the door hinges and suddenly felt sick again, not from the hangover but rather from regret. _What if she’s in here crying? What if she really was angry with me? What if she just laughs me off and then everything gets awkward on set?_

“H-hello?!?!??” he heard an obviously startled Karen call out from behind the shower curtain and made the split second decision to follow his aroused curiosity rather than his reasoning mind. Taking a deep breath, Arthur began to strip himself of his clothing. Kaz was still loudly asking “who the bloody hell was out there” when he piled his clothes on the tile floor and pulled back the shower curtain just enough to quickly slip inside.

After his still-fuzzy head had acclimated to the muggy wet air inside the large, pink-and-white-tiled shower, Arthur found himself staring open-mouthed at a wet, flailing—and utterly and completely _naked—_ Karen Gillan. Her glorious gazelle-like legs blended smoothly into slimly curved hips and a perfectly flat stomach. Her breasts were relatively small but incredibly perky, and _God_ her amber hair was soaking wet and sticking in tousled clumps to her shoulders and porcelain face and he just wanted to wipe it from her skin and replace it with his lips.

Before she could utter another shocked curse, he was grabbing her face with both hands, firmly pulling her face into his own. The kiss was hurried and awkwardly one-sided, but still decidedly different than any they’d shared on set as Amy and Rory. When he drew back again, his thumbs running in soothing circles over her rosy cheeks. Their eyes met and she could see at once that he was silently asking her if this was okay.

“I’m a bit surprised we’d taken this long to get ‘round to this part, really,” she mumbled, and promptly pushed him back against the opposite wall with a fierce glint in her eyes and a ravenous smirk on her lips as they crushed over his.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter: 1,094 words, split into 4 little segments

They’d slowly made love again and shared innumerable sweet kisses and caresses before finally it dawned on Alex. She sat bolt upright, pulling the fleece blanket they shared up to cover herself and looking around wildly.

“Wha-what is’t ‘Lex?” mumbled Matt sleepily, his hand wandering around to stroke at the exposed small of her back.

She squirmed away from his heavenly touch long enough to whisper back her reply. “Well, hmm, let’s see… I’ve just realized that we’re on the floor of poor Kazza’s living room stark naked and have been the whole bloody night, and we’ve no idea where the girl is or how terribly we may have scarred her, that’s all!” She chuckled dryly and bit her lip.

Matt took her soft little hand in his and rubbed it until she met his gaze. “Alex, love; it’s _okay._ She’s Kaz, for God’s sake. She loves us, we love her and I can’t tell you how often she’s spent the night passed out on my couch. Hell, I’ve probly got a good week of free nights here in credit by now…!”

She laughed and relaxed a bit. “You’re sure, Matt?”

“Yes, my beautiful Alex. I’m absolutely positively positive.” He cupped her cheeks in his large hands and brought her lips up to meet his, determined to kiss the worried expression off of her face.

~~~

Meanwhile, the other pair of friends-turned-lovers were taking their time answering every question they’d ever had about the others’ bodies. Arthur had wondered if Karen liked the same kind of kisses Amy did; it turns out she did. For months now Karen had wondered, did Arthur take control in intimate situations the same way they’d imagined Rory would? (It turns out he did, unless of course she was taking her turn at the wheel; he seemed to enjoy both roles equally and thouroughly.)

It was a bit awkward at first, but after the initial shock of _shit, we’re really doing this aren’t we?_ had worn off for the both of them, things got notably more heated. She would scratch aimless lines over his back with her neatly kempt scarlet fingernails and make a delicious whimpering sound when he nipped at the nape of her neck. He would bite back a curse when she pressed herself to him, front to front, so he could feel her nipples hard against his wet chest.

The water added an entirely new element that proved intensely arousing. Their supple young skin was slick as they rubbed and slid against one another, searching in desperation for ways to get close enough. When Arthur would pause to look up at Karen’s lily-like face, he was struck more than once with the immaculate beauty of her long eyelashes hung with water droplets, her full mouth slippery with water and shared saliva, and her wild hair tamed into messy clumps of crimson silk that fell over her shoulders.

Arthur bent to suckle at her pert breasts, and she moaned loudly. He laughed and pressed a damp finger to her lips, reminding her that they weren’t necessarily alone in the flat, but she promptly took his fingertip between her lips, swirling her tongue around it in a filthily suggestive manner.

“Well, bollucks to being quiet then,” he said in a low voice, and proceeded to ravish her as enthusiastically and recklessly as he could manage.

He didn’t question when she stepped quickly out of the shower stall and returned seconds later with a little rubbery circle. Soon they were lost in each other, and likely wouldn’t have noticed if every bell in Cardiff went off at once.

They didn’t even register when the water went stone-cold. After all, they were keeping each other quite warm enough.

~~~

After a few more long minutes of basking each other, Alex and Matt dressed each other and folded up the blankets they’d slept on neatly on the ottoman.

“Shall we go and um… tell her we’re finished then?”

Matt nodded with a chuckle and a smile that was so infectious Alex found herself grinning back. Hand in hand, the pair walked down the hallway towards Karen’s room. Matt knocked twice to no avail.

They’d just about decided to go make themselves some breakfast tea and come back for her later when a distinctly female whining noise floated through the door to meet their ears, followed by a decidedly male grunt. Alex and Matt looked at each other for a moment, faces blank with confusion, but then her mouth opened in shocked realization.

“Wha-what…? What is it…? I don’…”

“Shhhh! Quiet, Matthew! Must I really spell this out for you?”

He stared back at her like an 8 year old who’d just been given the birds and the bees talk. Suddenly it clicked, and his features lit with understanding.

“Oh! Oh dear God, Kaz and Darvill? Really? Bloody Hell, you’ve no idea how long—and I even had a bet running with Moffat…!—damnit, now I owe him 50 quid… GOOD ON YOU, MATE…!”

Throwing a hand over his mouth to shut the poor excitable idiot up, Alex couldn’t help but break into giggles at his reaction.

“Lord, Matt, hush!” She quieted him further by pressing him up against the wall and pushing a deep kiss onto his still chattering mouth. She kissed him soundly until he stopped wriggling and flailing against her, and it reminded her of the scene they’d filmed in which River kissed The Doctor through the bars of her Stormcage cell. When she stepped back afterwards with a wide smirk on her face, Matt opened and closed his lips once or twice but appeared to be utterly speechless.

The pair resolved that they’d just have to go back and wait in the living room to see if the guilty couple emerged with a confession any time soon. They crept excitedly back down the hall and into the kitchen, where they busied themselves cooking up a rather absurdly lavish breakfast using every ingredient they could find in Karen’s cupboards, teasing each other and trading lingering kisses all the while. 

~~~

When Karen and Arthur did tip-toe down the hall into the common room a good hour later, their hair in obvious disarray and wearing just the fluffy pink towels from Karen’s bathroom, the four friends just looked at each other and burst into a fit of laughter. Agreeing that it really was “about time they all got it on,” they spent the rest of the day together just chatting and laughing and snuggling up with their new lovers happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my deepest apologies for the totally rubbish ending. I just decided I had to tie things up and wasn't really sure how to do it because it's been so long since I've written anything for this fic so yeah sorry about that... just know that they all lived happily ever after, that's the main takeaway from all this really. :) ♥


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